"i am not good at math...." "I am not very organised..." "I am not very popular..."
Whenever I heard kids saying that to me, I always need to stop and say something. Depends on the personality of the kids, I said it differently. Some I just yell at them to stop thinking this way. Some I have to talk calm and slowly and find out why they said that.
You know what? A lot of times they got that from the parents. Let me tell you a story. I am from a medical family of 3 generations. In Taiwan, this is a family with everyone very smart and wealthy. However compare to my siblings (who are also doctors now) I was never very smart. My academic was always average and apart from talents in music, there was nothing worth mentioning academically.
However my parents never see it this way. Since I was young, they would always say Susie is very good at music. Susie is very good at speaking and very popular. So I thought I was that all my life. I grow up without feeling lack of anything. I have unbeatable faith in my own ability in everything I do.
Kids will believe whatever their parents said about them. My parents never said I am not good at academic and instead they continue saying what I am good at. I am forever grateful for that.
Don't continue reminding your kids that they are not good at this and that. Recognise what they are good at and reinforce that.
Say it right parents. Because the kids believe you.